Making A Home

January 20, 2013 (Don't help)

This was too good not to share. My kids have struggles from their backgrounds, being adopted, other biological issues. They need to learn to overcome. They don't need to learn they can manipulate others to do their work... They need to learn that hard work reaps gratification and rewards.  

http://alameda.patch.com/blog_posts/please-dont-help-my-kids

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January 21, 2013 (You're in the Navy now!)

Sam has had a history of stealing... Mostly candy at home, but also dice and things from school, Legos from friends' homes. This weekend was fraught with incidents of stealing candy, lying, carving into our table with his fork... And Gideon has deep anger issues, lashes out at his siblings, avoids taking responsibility for wrongdoing. This last week he stole a calculator from school with the intention of cheating on his math homework. His teacher blew it off as no big deal.

Today I'm filling out paperwork for a Navy cadet program for both of them. It's time. I will do anything I need to do to make these boys honest, responsible, good citizens.

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January 19, 2013 (Perogies)

Colin made homemade perogies for dinner tonight. His ancestry is largely Polish, and he's a great cook. So much fun to have him take over cooking duties sometimes and enjoy a great meal!

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January 12, 2013 (Colin)

Alright, I'm skipping a lot of details here, and a lot of guys, but since I did a major jump (as one reader pointed out), I'll quickly get you up to date.

I dated several more guys.  A couple of them semi-seriously.  I met one guy almost a year ago, and we talked a lot over text, phone, video messaging, but when we met, I thought he was a great big "nerd-bomber".  Nice enough, fun, but weird and geeky.  And not in a good way.

But we stayed friends, through me dating other guys, talked often (almost daily, but that wasn't unusualy for me and a lot of my guy friends that text.)  As soon as the last boyfriend was out of the picture, he swooped back in.  Offered to take me for a motorcycle ride.  We had a great time, but I was not much more interested in him (more than friends) than I was at our first meeting.  And yet... he was sweet and complimentary and we did enjoy talking...

The next time we met, we went to a park, since I had my kids.  They played while we had coffee and talked.  He gave the kids a quick ride on his Harley, then I loaded them up in the van and we parted ways... and he kissed me.  My mom still remembers me sputtering and upset.  "Friends do NOT kiss friends like that!" 

As we started to spend more and more time together, I began to realize we just "fit."  We worked well together, could compromise, had a very similar sense of humor, values, and my interest him him just started blooming, especially as we spent more and more time with all 6 kids together, Camping in Eastern Washington, going swimming, all kinds of activities.  Before we knew it we were spending almost every day together.  I couldn't remember who that nerd-bomber was anymore.  (I still joke about him, though.) 

He proposed at Lummi Island Memorial Day weekend, under the Blue Moon.  (As in... once in a blue moon.)  I sputtered and stuttered and said "too soon!  too soon!"  I told him I couldn't give him an answer yet, but that if he wanted me to, I would wear his ring as a promise ring.  (It was beautiful, by the way.  Perfect.  Exactly me.) 

Our relationship continued to grow and thrive, and well... all of a sudden I realized I really did love him. Depite myself.  He makes me feel more loved and adored than anyone ever has in my life.  He's great with my kids, he makes me laugh, he's a true "partner" that it's fun to spend each day with.  So the day after Christmas...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yA5UbscyLM

Some friends and family and I (and others) performed a flash mob, at the coffee shop we first met at.  It ended with me spinning around, sitting on his lap, and opening my coat to reveal a t-shirt that said "YES!"

So... I'm engaged!  I'm getting married!  To someone who LOVES me! 

Aren't we cute?  lol

 

January 11, 2013 (The Book of Mormon)

Yay!  Another play!  I'm still enjoying the purchase from last year's tax return.  The new season has started at the Paramount Theatre, and tonight we had tickets to "The Book of Mormon."  The show was hilarious.  (No offense to any of my LDS readers, we just got a kick out of it!)  I love that my "big bad biker" loves going to the theatre with me.  His ex would never go... and he was afraid he'd be looked at funny being the big tough guy at a musical.  But now, I get to have my man by my side for most shows.  A permanent date.  :)

January 10, 2013 (Shadow... aka Cujo)

I'm convinced Colin's dog is plotting my death. He can be all sweet and cuddly, then suddenly snap at my face. He's nipped me a few times, growls at me nearly every night, prevents my return to my room if I should need to use the potty in the night... And a few weeks ago bit me in the knee, breaking skin, bleeding, leaving a scar. He's great with the kids, very protective, and generally loves me during the day.... But when the sun goes down.... I'm kibble.

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See that look?  It says... "Just wait.  I will eat you."

January 9, 2013 (Dr. Play)

Today, Colin had a short visit with his girls. 4 hours. During which Teagan's counseling was scheduled. Oh, what a difference between their counselor and ours. They go to a play therapist. (Not our choice.) They play, and then the counselor attaches deep meaning to every little thing they do. To call it a stretch and mostly bogus us putting it mildly. (Vivian put the t-rex in a time out chair.... So obviously something not age appropriate is going on somewhere other than at home and she must be afraid of her father. What???)

Emails from the sessions that came to us instead of their mother due to a typo, make implications that even though the counseling was ordered to be a joint effort and equal between parents, the girls' mother went in there telling the counselor that the goal was to find some evidence that the children are being damaged by visits to our home and shouldn't be able to see their dad. She made several references to "this should help your goals", and "report back to me after their visits."

When does life get easier? It feels like everything is an uphill battle.

January 8, 2013 (Counseling)

Tuesday. Counseling day. We've been seeing this counselor with the kids for a year and a half. He's terrific. Lined up on the couch each week are myself, Colin (my fiance) and Brian (my ex). Love that we can cooperate and do this together. New family and old.

After 2 weeks off for the holidays, some of my children were in rare form. Gideon refused to talk. All attitude. His anger and temper lately are awful. Hello preteen years. Ugh. Molly was so defiant, Mark had to end up carrying her out of the office. To the bathroom. To clean it. Hey... You are gonna work at counseling. Your emotional stuff... Or janitorial. Your choice. Sam did ok this week, and Hallie was awesomely open and real. That's certainly not always the case.

Gideon is in dire need of therapeutic respite for a few days. But the cost is more than we have to spare right now. So we plug on.

January 7, 2013 (Work Day Breakfast)

Back to work training. The weekend is over. Here's my usual set up after getting up at 5, logged in and ready for training at 6... Coffee, energy drink, protein shake. Breakfast of champions. Or exhausted people.  

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January 6, 2013 *Edited* (Church)

My kids rejoined us today, and we got to take all 6 to our church.  We take up an entire pew.  Our kids are the oldest in the church.  They are easily half of their Sunday school class.  But I love our church.  I love that the kids sit with us during worship.  I love that the preaching is expository.  I love that the kids are studying the SAME passage is their class as the adults are in the sanctuary.  I love that we do communion EVERY week.  I love that we all share a meal together after service.  I love that we are FINALLY able to go back, now that we are past the ridiculous "transition period" and back on a regular visitation plan with Colin's girls. 

I was a little worried about behaviors and such, but it was really a great time. Pulled pork sandwiches and fellowship after church, and now their lavender infused animals are all being microwaved to help them settle into bed. Now for a couple hours with Colin before I head to bed so I can get up early for work training! Night all!

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